About Last Night

Good morning all. This is Your Morning Update, for January 26, 2012.

First of all, a candle update. The red candle’s flame faded away last night right about the same time Suzanne and I sat in silence, looking at each other, thinking about what had just happened. I tried to re-light it but couldn’t.

Then as I was about to say something profound about it, a voice back in my head, (not Suzanne’s voice) said, “For god’s sake, spare us any more of your lame metaphors about that being like life or something.” I had to smile. I knew the voice was right. I will only say this. I lit both the green candle and the red candle on Christmas Eve, and while the green one went dark a week or so ago, the red one continued to warm the nights here with it’s friendly glow until if flickered and went dark. I think I will leave the sculptures they both left behind, sitting on the butcher block for awhile yet.

Suzanne and I talked into the wee hours of the morning, until I reminded her I had to be up very early to send out my morning update. We did, however, get around to the question I’ve been trying to get an answer to since she came here, when I asked her again, “Why are you here?”

She looked at me and gave me another one of her mysterious answers, saying, “Bobby, I’m here for a number of reasons. They will become more clear the longer I’m here. But the first thing I’m trying to do is help you learn to dance with your dreams; dance closer to the flame. After that, the rest will be easy.” Then she just smiled and looked at me.

I sat, mute, thinking, “What the hell kind of answer is that? Dancing with what dreams and dancing closer to what flame, and what the hell does it all mean?”

She sat there, as if she could see into my mind, and see the struggle I was having trying to figure it out. I was just thinking, “They must have a course at the Athens Muse University called, “Obtuse Answers to Direct Questions 501.” An upper level course which she obviously aced.

She then had this warm look that seemed to wash over her face, and quietly she said, “My dear Bobby, think champagne and strawberries.” I loved the sound of her soft voice when she said that.

I reflected on that unforgettable moment last night when, Suzanne sat there, in the candlelight. So open, so honest, so vulnerable, so warm and human, a lone tear on her soft, white cheek, with her heart exposed.

As I thought back, to what seemed but a few hours ago, I slowly came to really feel what I’d been part of, and what it might mean. I could only say, “My god Suzanne, it seems so hard…I don’t know.”

She just said, “It is hard Bobby, (She has taken to calling me Bobby at times like this. I rather like it.) and the fact I see that you can even see how hard it is, tells me…you know. We will get there.”  Then she took my hand, and it seemed she was looking deep into my eyes to a place back in my soul, where no one had ever been, and said, “You…will get there.”

She is somethin’.

Take care, be well and keep in touch.



About Bob Kallberg

Retired reporter. Concentrating now on recounting Joanie's 12 year battle with cancer, a battle she waged with extreme courage, determination and an indomitable spirit, that, for me, serves as an example.
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