Bruce, Terry and Suzanne.

Good morning all. This is Your Morning Briefing, January 27, 2012.

Suzanne and I were talking, yesterday afternoon. I was still trying to digest her puzzling answer from the day before, to the question of why she was here. I am beginning to see where she is headed now, and I will address that as we go along.

She seemed to be in an expansive mood, so I asked her about her family life, and where she came from. She asked, “Short version or the Wikipedia version?”

“Whatever you feel most comfortable with,” I replied. She said, “I’ll go with my own. The Wikipedia one is has some holes in it and a lot of it is inaccurate.”

“Okay,” says me, “But, if I can interrupt for a minute, I have to tell you about my pleasant surprise call today.”

I got a call from Bruce Williams, the white guy half of “The Indian and the White Guy” fame, a comedy pair that has been bouncing around the country for 40 years or so, making people laugh. We’ve been friends going way back. Both my ex-wife Mary Ann, and my wife Joanie, who died in 2008 knew them too. He and Terry Ree, the Indian, were in Bismarck, on their way to Mobridge, SD for a show.  He told me to meet them at Perkins. They’re on my email list for morning briefings, and I think they wanted to see for themselves if I was okay or not. Terry told me that after he had read a couple of the “short whatever you call those things you’re sending out,” and saw the introduction of Suzanne, he called Bruce and said, “Kallberg’s lost it, I know it. I think he’s a goner.”

I assured them that wasn’t the case, and that there were no psychoactive drugs involved in the writing of anything I sent out. Terry said, “Yeah, okay, if that’s your story, but it might helpful if I had a tab to take when I read it.” We laughed. I know these guys, and sometimes they can be as funny off stage as they are on.

When I mentioned their names, Suzanne’s face lit up, and told me she had met them one time.

I said, “No way.”

“Way,” she said.

She went on to tell me they were performing in Athens, GA at the annual Muse and Music Festival some time ago, and she got to meet them after their show. Athens
GA was the sister city of Athens Greece, and muse leadership decided to hold one there as a gesture of Greek good will. I guess when they were in town there wasn’t a room to be had.

She said they really were quite funny and when they sang “Little White Dove,” made her and the other muses laugh and laugh till they almost cried. I thought to myself, “My god, they’re still doing that song.” She had wrangled a back stage pass, so after the show she was able to meet them. She said there was a lot of laughter and other stuff going on and she really enjoyed being around them. Then she asked  them if they minded if she told them a joke she had made up and they could use if they wanted to.

“So, now you write jokes too?” I figured I would humor her, so I asked her to tell me her joke.

“Well, Bobby, there are a couple of muses sitting at a table one evening with me, having some Absinthe, or as we liked to call it, ‘a taste of The Green Fairy,’ and since it is quite strong, it does loosen people up. I told the my table mates the joke that had just come to me, Absinthe makes the heart go wander. She giggled, and then looked at me to see my reaction.

I smiled, chuckled and thought, “How do I get out of this.” I have to admit, I’d never had much exposure to muse humor. I didn’t want to hurt her feelings, because I knew that even muses have feelings. I just told her that I got it, and it had a certain amount of charm. Anyway, I asked her what Bruce and Terry thought of it.

She said Bruce laughed some, but Terry, just looked at her and said, “Darlin’, for a muse joke that wasn’t bad, but I’m not sure your muse humor will work with our usual audiences. I don’t know if they’d know what the hell you’re talking about, because I barely do.”

I told her that it was okay, the same thing had happened to me a few times.

I don’t know if Bruce or Terry remember her or not. I do know they remember Mary Ann, and Joanie, but that’s another part of the story. Turns out Suzanne remembers those two as well as Bruce and Terry. Things might be getting scary.

I apologized for interrupting her as she was going to tell me something about where she came from, but she just hushed me and said, “That’s okay Bobby. We can get back to that tomorrow.I’m really not a humor muse anyway. That’s a whole different branch of museology. I think it was probably the Absinthe talking.”

Don’t know if you can tell or not, but I’m really liking having her around.

She is somethin’.

Take care, be well and keep in touch. You know what to do.


Afterthought: Seems to me sometimes, “Love just means being able to fart in bed, in your own house, with impunity.”

Told that to Suzanne. She blushed, tried to cover her giggle with her hands, and  told me I should give that one to Bruce and Terry. I told her it would probably meet the same fate as her joke. I added, “Besides, I don’t think they do fart jokes. Not anymore anyway.”


About Bob Kallberg

Retired reporter. Concentrating now on recounting Joanie's 12 year battle with cancer, a battle she waged with extreme courage, determination and an indomitable spirit, that, for me, serves as an example.
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