Saturday Night

Good morning all. This is Your Morning Update, February 26, 2012.

Saturday evenings are quiet around here. This one is no exception. I find they are perfect for reflection. They have a tone that is different from the rest of the week. At least, that’s how they’ve been for me over the past four years.

Suzanne and I spent last evening, with a nice wine, sort of mulling over our conversation from earlier in the week about relationships, and she began pressing me on what I had taken from the ones I’ve had. I told her, I wasn’t really ready to discuss that in much detail right now. But you know, she’s a woman who will not be denied. She told me to remember why she was here in the first place.

I said, “Well, Suze, the weather outside is kind of ugly. Nothing serious, but not the kind of night one would like to be out and about, so since we are not going out, maybe you could tell me again why you are here.”

“Bobby, as I’ve told you before, I’m here to help you find the voice you’re looking for, and to remind you that the experiences you’ve had and the feelings you have are all important, but you have to be open and honest about being able to express them and what they mean to you.

I said, “What about the other night when we were talking about relationships. You opened up, and isn’t that part of what we’re involved in here?”

“Of course it is, and it’s an important part of the process, but sharing my experiences and feelings are just a way of showing you how you can use them and if you give me a little more wine, maybe we can talk a bit about your own experience.

Of course, I gave her a little more wine. As I said, she’s a woman who will not be denied. She lit up one of her cigars, took a sip of wine and took on that look that, as a Muse, she had when she first came here, and I knew I was about to get one of those answers I would have to spend the rest of the night deciphering. Then she said, “The other night, you really didn’t open up, as I did, and I was going to press you on that then, but I got the feeling you weren’t ready.  I also knew you already knew the most important things you learned from those relationships, both from the one with Mary Ann, and the one with Joanie. I know both of those were important to you, and what you learned from one you took to the other, and you will take to the next one.”

See what I mean. “Now, my little Greek goddess, what is it that I’m missing here?”

Suzanne just smiled, as she does a lot when she talks to me, and said, “You aren’t really missing anything.  The memories, and what you learned, is what you took from them both. In the first instance, you found what went wrong  and in the second instance you took steps to ensure you didn’t make the same mistakes. And probably the most important thing you learned is that maintaining a meaningful relationship is the hardest job you will ever have, and it is also the most rewarding one you will ever have. I think you learned that lesson the hard way, but you learned it.”

As with other times, I sat amazed and wondered how she knew what she knew, and I remained entranced with this vision who seemed to know more about me than I did myself. The memories I have made it impossible for me to disagree with her, since I knew she was right. I knew from my own experience, that you get out of a relationship in direct proportion to the effort you put into it. I thought about our relationship, and asked her, “What of us? Am I doing things right here?”

She laughed, and said, “Bobby, right now, we are involved in something that is open-ended, with a different goal in mind, but who knows where it will go.”

Just the answer I was looking for.

Take care, be well and keep in touch.

Bob

Feel free go about your day, smell the roses, have a laugh, and give someone you love a hug and tell them you do.

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About Bob Kallberg

Retired reporter. Concentrating now on recounting Joanie's 12 year battle with cancer, a battle she waged with extreme courage, determination and an indomitable spirit, that, for me, serves as an example.
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